In our life we can always start again. With a new job, a new relationship, a new day. Why does a new beginning is often fine, but is it at the same time a little scary? Magazine Flow looking for the.
You take your past always with you
All the ships behind you, burn, a pack of cigarettes get and never come back again: few people want to really start with a clean slate, argues philosopher Marli Huijer in her book, start over Again. “We are held back by the desire for continuity, for repetition. Moreover, it is an illusion that we are our past can erase. We look to the world through the glasses of our experiences.”
According to Huijer will bring you further to the existing something to set in motion: “Someone who takes the initiative to do things differently in work or relationship, brings more change than someone who just up and leave to elsewhere to start again.”
Fear of the unknown
Something new to tackle, it means something else let go. But we do that according to clinical psychologist Barry Lubetkin don’t like. According to him, it doesn’t feel nice to have familiar things to an end.
“The ultimate end is of course death, but even the end of a fun party or a bad relationship can be an uncomfortable feeling calls. It is exciting to be a new way to save, because you never know what awaits you.”
The clinical psychologist has a complicated duality: the familiar road feels safer than the unfamiliar terrain, but the unknown can be possible to a better life.
The opinion of Lubetkin: “Let uncomfortable feelings simply, as a new start voltage raises. You will see that they naturally ebbing away. Emotions have the gradient of a wave. They start small, grow to a breaking point and if she was his uitgegolfd, they disappear again.”
Sleep on it
Tomorrow the world looks very different. There is more in this well-known statement than you might think. but at Night, reset our brain. “While you are sleeping, your brain busy, mainly with the processing of information that day has arrived,” says slaaponderzoeker Stefan Lucius, in his book, good night! About sleep and sleep disorders.
“But we have little to experience again the same experience; there must be something happen, so that we can put things into perspective and give this a place, to let go. Do that the brain during the remslaap a stress-free state to promulgate.”
The emotiecentrum of our brain during that sleep on non-active, which ensures that emotions the following day, less intense, and making us violent events in a new, stress-free daylight. of the reason that feels like the beginning of a new day is often as fine.
Reason for improvement
“If you have trouble running, that you also have something to offer,” says professor of psychiatry and philosopher Damiaan Denys. “It is the perfect reason to your life to re-focus. We do that not just from ourselves, that is our nature.”
Denys says that people change naturally to avoid. But if it is, she says, try to embrace it. “Just imagine: you have a certain job, you do that for ten years, and you will be fired. Well, awful. But you will therefore be forced to have something else to do, and after three years you might say that it’s been good. Shortages help us to provide a richer and better life to lead.”
Always a new chance
A dream home that your nose goes. The job where you had hoped. People often think that they can forget if they have that one opportunity was missed.
According to philosopher Marli Huijer do is, by definition, always new opportunities for. In her book the Rhythm she says: “Suppose a man in the train hesitates or he is the woman who is opposite of him is will appeal to you. Who knows, this is such a moment which he will afterwards say that the life when a decisive turn took. But how special is this moment really real? The moments that present themselves do not exist without previous similar times: it is a new beginning of what there already was, but was not finished when it seemed impossible.”