“The ideal age to start with sex does not exist”

“The ideal age to start with sex does not exist”

The age at which many young people on sex start, is higher in comparison with five years ago. Half of the young people by 18.6 years, had sex, while that age in 2012 to 17.1 years.

It Is good that young people later on sex start? And is there such a thing as an ideal age for sex to begin? went over the results of the research in conversation with seksuologe Astrid Kremers of and director Ton Coenen of the knowledge centre for sexuality, Rutgers.

Coenen sees both positive points as points as a result of the study Sex in you 25th 2017, which was carried out by Rutgers and Soa Aids Nederland.

“Young people later have sex, that’s where we find not so much”, says Coenen. “Whether you are 17 or 18, makes no difference to us.” According to Coenen’s important is that the group of “young starters” (the group for their 14th sex for the first time) will become smaller. “That is a favorable development, because at a younger age, young people are less resilient and they may themselves less well to protect against unplanned pregnancies and stds.”

There connect Kremers joined. “The general rule is: the more vulnerable you are, the greater the chance that you are doing things that you really don’t want to. The older you get, the better the risk estimate. Sex should happen because you want to, there is not a certain age.”

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According to Kremers, it is important that sex happens between people who want it, enjoy it and not to have pain. “I see in my practice frequently women who have pain during sex because they can’t relax and not sufficiently excited. That happens because women in principle, also sex can have if their bodies are not ready for, while in men only succeed when they are excited and a stiff penis.”

There would, according to the seksuologe more attention to the clitoris. “Many boys and girls do not know what that exactly is. They think that it is only a small pink lump is, but it is a large institution of many centimeters, that excitement swell up (just like a man’s penis) to pads to the vagina.

“In addition, the vagina in the arousal longer. If the pelvic muscles are relaxed and the vaginal skin is healthy, a woman is physically ready for community.”


Coenen and Kremers find it difficult to say something about the reason why young people at a later age for the first time to have sex. The research also focused not on the question. “You also see it back in international studies, so we were not really surprised about the outcome”, says Coenen.

“But we can’t quite explain. You might wonder whether young people are prudish, but that seems not the case: as is apparent from the research that young people, for example, more tolerant, have become about sex without love and sex outside of a relationship.”

The results are according to Coenen also in spite of what often is said, that young people have so much to do with sex via (social) media and internet that they might be more likely to start.

“The result, apparently, earlier that youth sex is normal and not something special that they immediately want to try it. You can’t say that there is a causal relationship, but the normalizing of sex would possibly play a role.”

“So it worked in the seventies with the birth control pill. The netherlands was in that time a leader in terms of use of the contraceptive pill and that also led to standardisation.”

“There is often the fear that certain behavior (in this case sex) to promote by talking about it and be open about it,” says Kremers. “But that is not so. It works protective.”

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Cross-border behavior

What the seksuologe further well-liked to read, is that fewer young people have to deal with sexual boundary crossing. Three percent of boys and 14 percent of the girls has ever faced. “Of course that percentage even further down”, both Kremers as Coenen.

“Fortunately in the Netherlands there is more care after sexual violence. The first Center Sexual Violence, where victims of sexual assault and rape to quickly accommodate, was opened in 2012 in Utrecht. At the end of this year, there is national coverage.”

Another concern is sexual education. “Young people are only moderately satisfied with information provided on schools will be given”, says Coenen. “Only one in three schools spends structured attention to sexual education. There is still a profit.”

“That’s why we sit with all the parties involved in this research have contributed to the table to see what we can do with the results. Giving sexual education provided by schools is not mandatory, but we may be able to the standard sharpening.”


Also Kremers calls for good information, both by schools and by parents. “You can start when children are still but a few years old: teach them how to do yes and no” says, how the sex organs of boys and girls names. Incorporate the education and pay not only attention to if your child is already in puberty.”

“Further, there could also be more attention for how fun sex can be”, says Kremers. “There, you hear too little about. It’s often about the dangers: that you are pregnant can hit or a soa can add up.”

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