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After spending thousands of dollars to help you with your dog, without telling his fiancee, a man has been curious to find out if his wife shares the same priorities as him.
Apparently, the bride-to-be didn’t like that he spent so much money without asking her first, even though it has been used in order to try and save the dog. According to him, since she had found out, their relationship is strained, and he was not willing to apologize.
Reddit user Unsurebigbig took to the web to tell his story. According to him, the dog began to act strangely. “For the first couple of vet visits do not have anything to see,” said he, “until, at last, we found a large bulge under his coat, which was later identified as a tumor. It was confirmed to be malignant, and surgery is needed to remove it completely.”
It seems that the bride-to-be was not happy that she was going to have to “downsize” to the wedding, and after so much money has been spent on the other side.
He claims that a vet told him that surgery would cost $5,000, and that there was “no guarantee” it would be a success. The poster decided to go ahead with the surgery because the cost is “not that important” to him. As he saw it, there was no question that he should be able to do what he could to save his dog.
He went on to describe his financial situation and his fiancee, saying, “I’ve got to pay for the surgery, and my own savings. It is also very important. My fiance and I have separate finances, and my life savings are easily 5x what they would have been spared.”
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Unfortunately, it seems that the bride-to-be do not see things in the same way as he did so. “When she finds out how much the surgery cost, she went ballistic that I have to pay for the surgery without having to ask for it when we are in the planning process of a wedding,” he said. “She says that she is going to have to downsize her wedding and lost it, my dog is so old (10) and the money would not have to deal with that.’ I can’t even understand how she was able to say the same thing to me.”
“I honestly can’t sympathize with her, which has led to a huge gap in a rather wonderful relationship,” the story goes on. “My dog, my dog, and he is also a member of the family. I refuse to be a couple of thousands of dollars on his well-being. My fiance is like I’m being selfish and that the wedding has to come first, because we are starting a family.”
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Since then, it appears that things haven’t gotten better. “She has not spoken to me since, other than to tell me to take out the garbage, clean the dishes, etc, etc,” he adds. “And if I try to go to the interview, they will have to shut down or run away. She refuses to talk about it, unless I’m on my knees, grovel, and apologize. I can’t bring myself to do it as a matter of principle and self-respect.”
The comments on the original post were divided. Many agreed that the dog was more important and it is not the fault of the original poster’s use of the money for the beloved family pet. Where they disagreed with him, however, was that she felt she had a right to be a part of the discussion before making such a large financial decision.
If one user put it, “It’s surprising to me how many people are cool with marriage for the opportunity to discuss such basic things as the finances in the relationship.”
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Another user took over to the groom-to-be’s side, posting, “It’s his own money. The money HE has saved. Of course, they’re both in the wrong, if they don’t seem to have talked about the budget, but to be honest… and if my significant other started getting mad at me for spending the money that I have saved, and we have separate finances is good.. but to be honest with you, he has more in his savings than I do… and we do have a joint account for bills, holidays and vacations), I would take that as a red flag. And on top of that, my dog is in the first place. I’d rather have a dog than have a wedding.”
Other users have noticed her gaze, and with a comment like, “I somewhat agree with that. $5000 is a lot of money to spend without talking it over with your significant other. That being said, if priorities were better coordinated, it may not be a big thing.”
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Another user thought that the couple will have a different problem, and posting, Communication is so important in a relationship. And the two of you are not communicating with each other. 1) You need to have in order to have a realistic talk about the budget. Not only for the wedding party. You will need to save for an emergency. 2) You will need to discuss the big issues. There is always room for discussion (if not compromised). 3) You need to have realistic expectations about living together. What happens when your dog gets sick? A car breaks down? You will need to have a child? These are the decisions that need to be made as a couple.”