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A man who was the cause of quite a debate online as to if he is doing something wrong for refusing to attend the funeral of his sponsors, who reportedly died of a heroin overdose after a relapse.
In a recent Reddit post, the 28-year-old anonymous man, who’s three years of sobriety, ” says his sponsor, Duane, helped him kick his addiction, and was “like a father” to him after his own family disowned him.
“He has helped me with my relationships, and navigating my new career and getting back on my feet,” the author wrote.
What he didn’t know, however, that the sponsor was struggling with a drug addiction, after being sober for 21 years.
MOM IN VIRAL, DRUG OVERDOSE PICTURE IS CELEBRATING 3 YEARS OF SOBRIETY
“I had a call last week that the Duane’s body had been found, and his wife told me that it was an accidental overdose,” he said.
In spite of the loss of someone who meant so much to him, but the man said that he will refuse to attend Duane’s funeral, because of how he died.
“The thing is, I’m not going to deal with it. I could not reach the down to earth guy who has helped me with-the man who died of an overdose in his car in a parking lot,” he said. “I feel almost betrayed by him, as I don’t really know him at all. If he had died from some other reason, I suppose, that I was going to be, but it is not as if this is how it’s done.”
After telling Duane’s wife, and that he was not able to attend the funeral “due to the circumstances of his death,” he said, she seemed to be upset by the decision, but is “understood.”
“I feel like I made the right choice, but with Mr gone, I don’t have a whole lot of people to talk to in order to find out more about this most of all,” he said.
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Comments on the post were mixed.
“You are the death of you. Do you know the rate of relapse from addiction. Perhaps, it is afraid that he has relapsed, after 20yrs, and you have any concerns about your own sobriety,” one user said. “That’s a lot of material. But no matter what you said to his wife is unforgivable. If you don’t want to deal with it, all you need to say is that, I am sorry about your loss. I’ve got a prior commitment. But it’s not. You will be ashamed of him, to his grief-stricken widow.”
Another commenter wrote: “Addiction”, it is (or if it is a disease, and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it catches up with you. To judge him to death, in spite of all that he did for you and for others, life is so unfair to him, to his memory, and to the people he loves.”
However, some commenters had a more complete understanding of the human being’s decision to stay for the funeral.
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“I have to say that I don’t agree with this. What if this is turned on [him]”? I can’t imagine that a sponsor would want him to go, and if it’s not going to be healthy,” one user wrote.
“Attending a funeral is a very personal choice and no one can force you to go out of a sense of duty,” another user commented. The “people you may regret not going later on, so you have to think about that. However, there are other ways to show your love for this man.”
The user has, instead, suggested that it might be the Redditor in place to channel his grief into something worthwhile to do to be a sponsor of the family.
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“Well, do something nice for his wife or children (if he has one). The sending of flowers or other gifts. To send a letter and say what he is saying to you that it might be read at his funeral, or just meant to be a woman in your private life,” the commenter wrote.
“No reason for you to focus on the bad. We’ve all done bad things, and what he has done, it is really not that much, or be to blame). At least this guy did something, all right,” she offered.