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Lady Gaga goes in on the impact of her rape: “I’ve tried to erase it from my brain’

Lady Gaga reveals her struggle with PTSD was raped at the age of 19 and how the incident has a great impact on her life.

(AP)

Lady Gaga has opened up about her struggle as a sexual assault survivor and how the experience will have a lasting impact on her life.

The 32-year-old singer told about her plight in a revealing interview with Vogue Magazine. Gaga opened up about being raped at the age of 19 and said, “it took years for her to come to terms with what had happened to her.

“No one else knew,” she told Vogue. “It was almost like I tried to erase it from my brain. And when it finally came, it was like a big, ugly monster. And you have the face of the monster to heal.”

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@LadyGaga stars on the cover of our October issue! Tap the link in our bio to read the full interview. Photographed by @inezandvinoodh, styled by @tonnegood, Vogue, October 2018.

A post shared by Vogue (@voguemagazine) on Sep 10, 2018 at 6:00 pm PDT

But this is not the first time that the singer candidly spoke about the incident.

In 2015, Gaga told Howard Stern in an interview on his Sirius XM radio show that she has PTSD symptoms of rape. And after years of privately dealing with her traumas, the singer decided to come out and the address of the head.

“For me, with my mental health, the half of the fight, was in the beginning, I felt like I was lying to the world because I felt so much pain, but no one knew,” she admitted. “So that is the reason why I came out and said that I have PTSD because I don’t want to hide — more than I already have.”

The star even went on to detail the PTSD symptoms that she treats.

“I feel numb. Or hindered. You know that feeling when you’re on a roller coaster and you’re just about to go on the really steep slope? That fear and the drop in your stomach? My diaphragm seize,” she explained. “Then I have a hard time breathing, and my whole body goes into a spasm. And I start to cry. That is how it feels for trauma victims every day, and it is . . . miserable. I always say that trauma has a brain. And it works its way into everything you do.”

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@VogueMagazine by @inezandvinoodh

A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Sep 10, 2018 at 6:15 PDT

The “Star Is Born” actress also recently opened up about not feeling like the most beautiful girl in the room and working to channel that feeling in her new movie.

“I’m so insecure,” she revealed to the LA Times. “I would like to preach, but I don’t always practice what I preach.”

Gaga revealed that during her audition for the new film, directed by Bradley Cooper, her co-star, wiped her mascara, concealer and blush before the screen test, she felt ugly.

“It put me right in the place where I had to go, because if my character talks about how ugly she feels — that was real,” she said.

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#AStarIsBorn in TIFF 2018 📸: @kevinmazur

A post shared by Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) on Sep 9, 2018 at 8:09pm PDT

The Grammy award-winning singer also said that she had a difficult time trying to tap into the introverted character of an Ally in the film and said that Cooper helped her gain access to her vulnerable side and embrace her insecurities.

“When I started, I was not the most beautiful girl in the room,” the singer said in an interview with Variety, recalling her early days in the industry and the similarities between her and her character in the film.

“[The producers] wanted to take my songs and give [them] to other singers, but … I loved it for them. They made suggestions about how I should look. I didn’t want to be viewed as other women, sexy, just like other women. I wanted my own vision.”

You can find Morgan M. Evans on Twitter @themizfactor.

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