Supermodel Gisele Bundchen revealed that she considered her own life in the beginning of her career.
If Gisele Bündchen star continued to rise in the beginning of the years 2000, they also felt the walls closing in around her.
After enduing a bumpy ride on a small plane in 2003, the Brazilian born model suffered her first panic attack, the overwhelming fear of enclosed spaces to follow.
“I had a wonderful position in my career, and I was very close to my family, and I always thought that I was a positive person, so I was really beating myself. “Why should I feel?’ I felt like I was not allowed to have a bad feeling,” the “Lessons” the author told the People. “But I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, that is the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”
The panic attacks continued, which led Bündchen, 38, in a dark place.
View this post on Instagram
I am grateful that at 14, I was given the opportunity to start this journey. Today, after 20 years in the industry, it is a privilege to be doing my last fashion show by choice and still work in other facets of the company. #firstrunway #14yearsold 🙏🙏🙏 Sou muito grata por ter tido a oportunidade, aos 14 anos, de iniciar esta jornada. Hoje, após 20 anos nesta carreira é um privilégio estar other meu último desfile por escolha própria e ainda continuar trabalhando em outras facetas da apartamentos. #primeirodesfile #14anos
“I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I jump from my roof, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about the feeling of my world closing in”,” she explained.
The mother of two detailed the night she considered leaving her life behind, as described in her upcoming memoir, out Oct. 2.
“It felt like everything in my life was going to kill me. First it was the airplanes, then lifts. When was tunnels and hotels, and modeling studios, and cars. Now it was my own apartment,” Bündchen shared. “Everything was a cage, and I was the animal to sit, panting for air. I saw no way out, and I couldn’t stand another day of feeling this way.”
She continued, “The idea swept over me: Perhaps it is easier if I just jump. It will all be over. I can do this. When I think back to that time, and that 23-year-old girl, I want to cry. I want to tell her that everything will be all right, that they have not even begun to live her life. But at that moment, the only answer seemed to jump.”
After consultation with doctors, Bündchen wanted to change a number of aspects of her life.
“I had been smoking cigarettes, drinking a bottle of wine and three mocha frappuccinos every day, and I gave it all up in one day,” she told him. “I thought, ‘If this stuff is in no way the cause of this pain in my life, it has to go.'”
View this post on Instagram
Happy father’s day to the most loving father in the world. We love you! ❤Feliz dia dos pais para o pai mais amoroso do mundo! Nós te amamos!
After her relationship with Leonardo DiCaprio in 2005, Bundchen found her happily ever after with Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. The couple wed in 2009, later welcoming son Benjamin, 8, and daughter Vivian, 5.
“When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself. It was as if a part of me died,” the model said. “I had this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this tiny being, and I suddenly felt I could not do other things, and that was very difficult for me.”
With her husband’s unyielding support, Bündchen and Brady continued to focus on the family, who is also the quarterback is the son of John, 11, with ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan.
“They are really flourishing to be of the beautiful angels that they are,” she gushed.
This story was previously published in the New York Post.