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Amazon busts big holiday move, ships of more than one billion items

File photo.

(REUTERS/Rick Wilking)

Alexa, how do we do it?

We seem to be doing well. Amazon shipped more than one billion items worldwide with Prime and the Fulfillment of this holiday season.

Alexa, did you say billion with a B?

Yes, I said billion with a B.

Alexa, how did that compare with last year?

Last year we shipped more than 200 million items with Prime. Not bad, huh?

AMAZON ECHO USA. GOOGLE HOME IN A VIRTUAL STANDOFF

Alexa, how do you explain this success?

It’s all because of MEEEE! Our top best-sellers were Echo, Echo-Stip, Fire TV Stick and Fire-tablet — MEEEE! We sold more than nine times as much to me this holiday season, as we are in 2015. Hooray for MEEEEE!!!!

Alexa, at the risk of blowing a fuse, tell me more.

People really like Tom Collinses and Manhattans. And chocolate chip and sugar cookies. And “Home Alone” and “Elf.” And Frank Sinatra and Mariah Carey. And Michael Bublé.

Alexa, how did we do with the same day shipping?

The fastest Prime Now delivery on christmas Eve and lasted 13 minutes. It is released at 9:05 pm to be a Prime member in Redondo Beach, California.

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Alexa, what was our best day for delivery on the same day?

That would be on the 23rd of December. Members of the ordered three-times more items than last year. Usually, they wanted me, of course. A lot of me. And Oreo cookies.

Alexa, tell me more.

The most streamed holiday song on Amazon Music was “It’s the most wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams. The most downloaded foodie Kindle book was Anthony Bourdain’s “Kitchen Confidential.” The most downloaded non-fiction book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” by Gary Chapman. The most downloaded audiobook was Trevor Noah’s “Born to Crime: the Stories of a South African Childhood.”

Alexa, is that all?

We sold enough 4K Tvs to the top of Mount Everest is more than nine times. We sold enough KitchenAid Mixers of more than 7.5 million cookies in one go. We sold enough Wilson soccer balls to give to every fan at a sold-out Seahawks game. We sold more Marvin the Moose dog toys than there are actual moose in New England. We sold enough Char-Broil The Big Easy Turkey Fryers to cook 225,000 pounds of turkey. We sold enough Razor Jet Heel Wheels to the roll-out of a fully loaded space shuttle to the launch pad at Cape Canaveral.

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Alexa, is there no bad news?

There Is. I’m sorry to say that someone in Irvine, California, has a cold.

Alexa … huh?!?!

We delivered our last Prime Now on the same day to for Christmas a minute or so before santa Claus came, at 11:59 pm on 24 December. The assignment included a heated mattress, NyQuil, and Afrin Nasal spray.

 

 

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